There was a metal head teen who would take the weekends to drunkenly bond with his mother over, you guessed it, CHER!
Yes, embarrassingly, I was a metal head in high school.
But more importantly, I am a Cher fan, and while most of it is nostalgic, I still really do love her stuff. She has a brilliant voice, and I will perpetually have a soft spot and hard on for the aging diva. I have more love in me for Cher than there is plastic in her face.
Seriously, no one ages this gracefully at 67.
This one is for me mum; however, since her beer of choice was the lowlight of my last blog, I am drinking a beer that I deem worthy of the sexy cougar diva that is Cher. So, without further gushing about Cher (Not to do with the album), on to the review!
Album:
Alcohol:
"Woman's World" opens with a very current feeling dance beat, and I'm alarmed to hear both auto-tune and stutter editing in the vocals, but the chorus opens up, and Cher belts nicely. Dropping out to the second verse, and there is actually a nice build that opens up into a bigger second chorus. Respectable. Dropping out with a "call to arms" of sorts bridge with a techno-esque build into a pause, and final chorus. Very nice dance tune, which, you know, makes it mediocre at best.
Vocals and electronics open "Take It Like A Man", and I'm annoyed again by blatant auto-tune. I know there was a presence of auto-tune on Believe, but I didn't slap you in the face like this. It almost ALWAYS disagree with sylistic auto-tune. I'm not really getting much out of this song other than that. A very bland feel, and it lacks any significant UMPH that I love Cher for. It barely has a hook. If you are continuing on the dance-pop feel, you gotta do better, Cher. Fade out ending. Ew.
"My Love" comes in very tenderly with keys and voice. Building with a dance beat. The song opens an give a nice feel, but still no pop hook, that I felt in "Woman's World". There was a really cool electronic transition into the next chorus, but nothing special enough to redeem what is yet another really bland pop tune. Dance break. Nothing special. Into a drop out with again, keys and voice to end the song in the same manner it opened.
"Dressed To Kill" actually opens with a really cool tremolo effect and has a cool beat, but ugh, auto-tune. However, redemption comes in to chorus, and the line, "Dancing in the dark with my hands around your heart" is nice. Breaking down into a cool synthy line. Drop out, and chorus comes in. This is the best of a bad bunch. And nothing special about the ending.
Into "Red", which is another very modern feeling dance tune, but the album is definitely picking up here and it may be the beer, but I'm feeling this tune a lot. The drop out to beat and accents in the verse is cool, and the choruses display that Cher can TOTALLY still belt. Dance break into another chorus with a more flowing feel than the previous. Favorite thus far, this is moving in a good dir-OH! fade out ending! Boo!
Out of "Red", comes "Lovers Forever". THis is the first tune to not feature blatant auto-tune, which is good, but the song is rather unremarkable other than the drop out and belt just before the chorus. The echo thing just isn't doing it for me in the verses, and synth voice accompaniment? Really Cher? You're better than that. They are missing the mark on a lot of the electronic samples as well. This song is really, just... Messy... Not going to lie, I had somewhat high hopes for this after finally seeing Burlesque, and hearing some of those tunes, but this is really just a desperate attempt at everything being done in pop music today. This song ends with an ending.
"I Walk Alone" opens with promise with a cool snare beat and a neat synth line. And Cher is very commanding in the verse. The chorus is meh, but these verses. OH! Cher, you sing it girl! And blegh, the chorus again, but the bridge! Farty bass line and dropping back to the snare with an acoustic guitar solo? Yes, Cher. I dig this. You do "Still got time". Nice hard hitting ending.
Opens to keys on "Sirens". Thank you for seeming to get the crappy pop tunes out of the way early. This song is tender and the first presence of an actual drum kit. It's refreshing at this point. Well, done here. The verses subtly grow through out along with Cher's beautiful vocals. Big growth out of the second chorus into a nice little guitar solo. Simple, but nice. Drop out to the pre-chorus with only keys. builds into a set of "Ahh's" that lead back into a guitar solo. This. This is the Cher I remember most fondly. Tender ending. Very nice.
"Favorite Scars" opens with with a nice feel. There is a driving beat and instruments keep adding on through the verse, and into a slow dance beat for the chorus. And you sing it, Cher. I actually really like this song lyrically. Dropping back down for the second verse. Half as long as the first verse and into the second chorus this time with harmonies. I dig this tune. Nothing blowing me away, but the lyrics shine nicely. Although she may be known for over-the-top campiness, Cher can have some great lyrical moments.
A simple ending settles us into the ballad, "I Hope You Find It". Nothing blowing me away, but a very nice tune. It's almost painfully obvious that they front loaded this album with the "current" sounding songs, but honestly, if you love Cher, the back half is where "You'll find it". And yes, Cher, I have found what I'm looking for. The string aceents are a nice touch. Thank you.Pretty ending.
"Lie To Me" opens with pretty acoustic guitar. And god, does Cher shine outside of over polished electro-pop. Most solidly written chord progression thus far, and oh, the electronics come in, but subtly, and it's actually a nice touch here.This is the final track on the standard album, and I'm good with it the far, and OH kick in--Wait.. Only kinda. Nice, but I could have done with more of a punch on that. The ending is kind of, like, what?
Into the bonus tracks. We start with "I Don't Have To Sleep To Dream". And it's a return to the dance feel, but it's considerably better then anything on the first half of this album. An almost 90s feel with the electronic element. God, was anything shitty in the 90s? Even the dance-pop was cool (Ace of Base anyone?). This song is solid. Alone not worth getting the deluxe version, but there are still two bonus tracks left. The bridge is actually pretty sweet as well. Dance break. By FAR the best on the album. Cool ending as well.
Bonus track two: "Pride". Another dancey tune. Again, better than the first half of the album. Seriously, is there a way to get this disc sans the first six tracks? This song isn't as solid it's predecessor, but still carrying with the 90s euro-dance-pop feel, and FUCK! I love it. Like, 90s pop may be the biggest guilt pleasure I have. Dig it. To drunk to analize.
"You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me" closes out the bonus tracks. Ballad feel here. And I dig it. The line "Don't count me out so fast" applies very nicely to this album as it takes a while to get to the music that's actually listenable--OH! Cher! You belt it! Yes. Get back on your feet, girl! Pretty ending.
Final Thoughts:
Okay, Cher, stop trying to be hip and new. Seriously, we love you for the you you've always been. Just because most of your face is probably plastic doesn't mean the it has to be reflected in your music. That being said, you sold me on the last half of this album and the bonus tracks. Maybe the drunkness brought out my nostagia, or maybe I just have that much distaste for current pop trends, but I was using this as a barometer for whether or not I was going to try to go to your Minneapolis tour date, and you ALMOST lost me, but thankfully, my blog forced me to keep listening. because although this album has a SHITTY SHITY start. It gets better. IF your a Cher fan, I recommend this album on the second half alone. If you aren't, get drunk. Listen to Half Breed, Believe, and watch Burlesque, and then listen to the second half of this album. I love you, Cher. Always will. But girl, act your age. Current dance-pop sucks. You know it, I know it. Just do what you've always done. <3
-Badhorse
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